The midwife who opened our first birth center here in Colorado ran into a problem. Doulas who were used to "protecting” moms in hospital births were coming into her birth place and interacting in a confrontational manner with staff members. This is problematic in many ways.
Actions such as these have a negative impact on the entire community.
Happily, the midwife decided to fix the problem through education instead of banning doulas (which may well have crossed her mind!).
You say you're considering x, y, and z. We know that those choices carry certain risks. We know that there are tools a, b, and c that may help reduce those risks. So we say, "Hey, you may want to consider researching a, b, and c.” That's it. It's up to you to do your own homework if that's important to you. It's up to you to use a, b, and/or c if it's a good idea for you and your family. But we will let you know of options that we are aware of. You choose whether you want to look up a, b, and c; you choose whether you want to implement a, b, and c; we trust that you will make the best decision for you and your family, and we support you without judgment. You have your job, and we have ours.
Another reason we've seen some doulas not offer information is because they don't want to get in the way of your care provider. That's honorable! At the same time, we don't see why respectfully offering suggestions would create a problem. We do not instruct, encourage, or expect mothers to go into prenatal visits with guns a-blazing. Open communication is good in any relationship; asking questions of someone who you trust shouldn't be a detriment.
Melissa and Ellen are birth doulas, childbirth educators, placenta encapsulation specialists, and Parent Effectiveness Training instructors serving the Denver, CO area. They are passionate about pregnancy, birth, baby care, and parenting. They bring over twenty years of combined experience to their premium childbirth classes, doula support, parenting classes, and placenta encapsulation services in the metro Denver area.